They call it the “Sandwich Generation,” but I think of it as being pulled in opposite directions. Remember “Stretch Armstrong?” I am blessed with folks in their 80s and a son who is in elementary school. However, they all need my attention, sometimes at the same time. Unfortunately, my folks live over 1500 miles away. When they need me, it takes more time and planning than getting into the car and driving around the corner.

My folks are living independently and have no plans of changing their living arrangements. I’ve tried and they have no desire to even talk about it. They do have long-term health insurance, thank goodness, which helps but does not cover people that do not need nursing care in their homes. My folks need help with shopping, cooking, activities, and driving, sometimes, but not all the time. When we are there for a visit, we drive, cook, shop and clean. They obviously enjoy the help but rarely hire someone for those chores. Yes, hiring someone for these chores does cost money. However, it’s not the added expense that prevents them from calling. They simply do not want a stranger in their home. Therefore, they basically choose to go without sometimes.

I’ve encouraged them to look for someone now, before they really need the help. This way they can test people and the situation out in order to be prepared for when they really need someone and won’t feel desperate. They totally agree, as they know their needs will continue to increase as they age. Nonetheless, they do nothing. I have even called several agencies that came out to meet my folks. However, all of sudden my folks felt very capable and thought I was jumping the gun.

This situation is emotionally challenging. I would love to take care of my folks but they are never going to move in with us or even close by since we live in the frigid northeast and Florida has “thinned” their blood. Besides, they love their doctors, who have saved their lives and are credited for they long lives. Moving myself, Mike, Mathew and Dylan to Florida poses many issues in itself. So, for right now, I will try my best to take care of my folks while living 1500 miles away from them and hope a solution presents itself.  Not a good plan, but that is all I have right now. Thank goodness, I have a brother, who is in the same boat as me and shares the responsibilities of taking care of our folks. Of course, the support of my husband and son are invaluable during challenging times.

Are you part of the “Sandwich Generation?” How do you cope?  I would love some tips.