A Gospel Brunch does the trick

Wow, I cannot believe it’s mid-August already and I’ve only been home for 2 weeks this summer. I’ve spent most of it in Florida, which is very strange because no one in their right mind should be in Florida during the summer. The only sane reason to be in Florida during the summer is because your family needs you. And, that’s what happened. My Dad had a heart attack in June and has been very slow to recover. He is doing better now but it’s obvious that his 87 year old organs are very tired and not working well together, especially his heart and kidneys. For a while it seemed as if they were behaving like siblings that just couldn’t get along. Anything done to support his heart added too much stress on his kidneys and visa versa. Frankly, they are both in need of a great deal of support. Finally, they have started to get along, thank goodness.

Although, I have spent very little time vacationing this summer, I did sneak out a couple of times with my Mom to enjoy life. It is so important to laugh and enjoy moments during stressful times. Besides being concerned over my Dad’s health and needs, spending 4-7 hours a day in any hospital visiting is stressful in itself. On the cab ride from the airport to their home, I looked at an activities guide and saw an advertisement for Lips – The Ultimate in Drag Dining. It looked very interesting, amusing nonetheless. I decided to look into it and it got great reviews. They even had a Gospel Brunch. Perfect ~ we didn’t have to stay out late. I asked my Mom if she was interested and she hesitantly said yes.

Lips has rather strict reservations, no walk-ins and we needed to arrive between Noon and 12:30pm. The servers are in the show and needed to take our orders before the show starts. We arrived at 12:10pm and the cars were lined up for valet parking already. The place was packed. They gave us a nice booth (my Mom loves booths) with a great view. We settled in with our bottomless Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s and checked out the crowd, which ranged in age from 15 to 90 yrs. old. They were from all walks of life. There seemed to be many people celebrating something as crowns were given to them. After a couple of moments, my Mom looked at me and said, “This is great. I wasn’t sure at first but, this is great.” When I first mentioned it, she had no idea what to expect and was concerned that it may be rather sleazy and run down. She was pleasantly surprised.

Mom with April

Mom with April

Our server, April was gorgeous and a fabulous entertainer. My Mom couldn’t get over that she was actually a man as well as the other performers. She kept noticing how beautiful they were and what incredible breasts they had. I told my Mom she could buy them too. The show was wonderful, a mixture of Gospel and top 40s. The Mistress of Honor was very funny but not too raunchy ~ hey, it was a Gospel Brunch. The food wasn’t that bad either, which was a nice surprise. However, the best part was that we laughed and smiled for almost 3 hours during the show and for sometime afterwards. It was exactly what out bodies needed during this challenging summer. I am so happy my Mom went outside her comfort zone to experience something new. I think it is very important to try new things, even at 83. It was a blast for both of us. My Mom had such a good time; she wants to bring my Dad for his next birthday.

April performing

April performing

Me & Mom

Me & Mom

Refueling when it’s in short supply

Recently, I have been looking at my role in this world. I am not one of those people who believe I have a mighty hand in choosing my basic role. After living almost 50 years full of adventures and challenges, my basic role has remained rather consistent regardless of the position or situation. Although, I do believe I have control over my attitude and how I approach life, my role is somewhat beyond my control. We all have many hats and responsibilities in our lives ~ mine are daughter, friend, companion, caretaker, healer, wife, mother, coordinator, facilitator, artist, herbalist, naturalist, planner, student, conservationist and lover.

While I worked on creating the above list and looked it over, it simply screams ~ to serve others. Ever since I can remember, I have been driven to contribute to making the world a better place for my family, friends, community and myself. Sometimes, in very small ways, other times in more noticeable ways. When I think about it, I do not feel comfortable with taking more than my share or putting myself before others. My husband constantly reminds me of the emergency speech on airplanes, “Put the oxygen mask on first.” But, honestly I’ve always felt there was more than enough oxygen available after I help others first. In fact I feel giving first always returns tenfold to me. I really can’t help myself. No matter how hard I tried to put on the “oxygen mask” first, I would get distracted by someone else’s needs.

Put the oxygen mask on first before you assist others.

I found that the only way I could truly take care of my needs is to be alone so I could recharge. Then there were no distractions from “me.” I am not saying this is a healthy way of navigating the world; it is just my way of coping. When I was single and living on my own, being alone was a very easy thing to do. I just would not make plans or answer the phones for a period of time, usually a week or so. Sure, I would go to work, but once I got home, I was alone to refuel. After my time of refocusing and nourishing my mind, body and spirit, I was good to go out and could take care of the needs of others again. Now that I am a mother of a ten year old, wife, daughter of aging parents in their 8os, and dealing with my body new needs while going through the “Change” it’s not so easy. I try my best to be out in nature, sit, walk, and listen to sounds of life around me. This helps but does not really replenish my energy supply.  There just is not enough oxygen to go around right now. I know this too shall pass, but it’s a bitch to go through.

What do you do to refuel yourself during times of great need? Please share and I will continue to share.